Doctor," she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me."He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you. First, your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist---the doctor lives downstairs."我想让你坦率地说我到底得了什么病。”他从头到脚打量打量她,然后大声说:“太太,我有三件事要对你说。第一,您的体重需要减少大约50磅;第二,如果您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口红,您的美貌将会改变。第三,我是一位画家——医生住在楼下。”[“妈,还记得小时候你用尺子打我,最后把尺子都打断掉的事吗?”“儿子,你该感谢当初咱家生活条件好,安装了自来水管!”“嗯?为啥?”“要是没有自来水,那就得挑水,要挑水必需要有扁担,你想想要是用扁担打你的话……”“谢母后大人当年不杀之恩!”[一日,中、美、法三国相遇,各自称赞本国产的酒近猛,互不相让,最后决定:以酒灌鼠,比试高低。 法国人拿来鸡尾酒,冲着老鼠一通猛灌,喝的老鼠步法皆乱,两眼发直,法国人洋洋得意。美国人拿来XO,老鼠只喝了几口,便醉的不醒人事。美国人哈哈大笑,用挑衅的目光看着两位酒友。 轮到中国人,只见他拿了瓶二锅头,打开瓶盖,在老鼠面前晃了晃,闻了酒味的老鼠没看出什么异样,并且大摇大摆的走了。正当法、美酒鬼嘲笑中国白酒酒力不行时,那老鼠手里拿着一块砖头,晃晃悠悠的回来了,嘴里还喊着:“他妈的,猫呢?”[ 详情
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